Honoring my Spiritual Path through Boundaries
Yesterday was an undertaking for me of monumental proportions. I did something that I've never done before and that for a long time, I didn't want to do. I did a piece of page spell work. The specific spell was cast for a client who has quickly become a friend. But all the same I was nervous. I wasn't sure how I wanted to go about sending proof of spell work, I wasn't sure if I was comfortable doing spell work and casting on camera, and overall I wasn't sure I was going to be comfortable doing this. It was then that I relied heavily on the main piece of my practice which is divination. I decided to do a reading for myself, and when I did I discovered that not only should I step out of my comfort zone and do things that challenge me oh, but I realized I'd been neglecting a really large part of my spiritual practice. I spend so much time reading cards for other people that sometimes I forget to read them for myself, and that's exactly what happened. It wasn't until I was trying to plan the spell work that I realized that I haven’t cast for myself in months. Somewhere along the way my spiritual practice has become a product for other people, and not a personal craft or personal quest. I spent so long researching and learning and poring over books and texts and figuring out all the nitty-gritty details so that I felt confident that I could teach, but I never allowed myself to let witchcraft be for just me. There was something uniquely disappointing about having my spiritual practice feel like just another business venture, something that I was not quite able to put my finger on.
I think I finally figured out what was bothering me. It's not that I have a problem with doing spells for other people or doing readings for other people or helping to make sure that other people are on the right track in their own lives, it was the idea that my spirituality was happening parallel to my life rather than being intertwined with it. It had gotten to the point where my spirituality was like a flip that I would switch on and off, it wasn't something that weaves its way through everything that I do during the day. That's the goal that I have for my spiritual practice. I want to find a way to build it into my daily routines in a way that makes it so that I don't have to find the time to be spiritual, but rather that some tasks that I do during the day are spiritual by design. I think this is a problem that a lot of spiritual creators face. With the commodification of spirituality, it can sometimes feel false, fake, or othered. Separate from our ‘real’ life.
My number one priority as a spiritual creator is to share my experience, share my knowledge, and help other people find the liberation that I have found through witchcraft, but in order to do that I have to be able to set boundaries and set limits, I have to feel as though I am walking on stable ground when it comes to my spiritual practices. Being neurodivergent means that I have to also be willing to give myself a break. That means not holding myself to drinking tea every single day as a daily practice because there will be days where tea will not sound good. There will be days when I will not have the ability to sit down and work, and I need to find a way to still be productive for my business, while honoring my spirituality, and honoring my limitations.
I have so many goals and so many aspirations when it comes to being a witch and a creator, but I have to remind myself to take a slow and steady pace. Someday I'd like to run a witchy book club, with fiction and nonfiction books alike. I'd like to become a full-time witchcraft educator, and help young witches and beginner witches really find their footing and their niche. I would like to mentor witches, I'd like to learn more about herbalism, and foraging. I would like to have a brick and mortar store someday. I have so many aspirations, and I can only hope that I'm lucky enough to pursue them all. For now, I need to take it slow, and remember to take time to focus on my own craft, too.
